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10 out of 10
Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryes, there was a band unheard of... and unto this, a group of mercenaries from the farthest reaches of Austria, destined to bear the jewelled crown of Rock upon their muscled brows... it is I, their reviewer, who alone can tell you of their saga. Let me tell you of the days of ARNOCORPS.
As the wheel of pain turns, another band of warriors rise above all others to dominate the Bay Area music scene, and to meet their destiny as purveyors and conquerors of Action Adventure Hardcore Rock ’n’ Roll. And if you think I’m joking, I suggest you get your ass to Mars (or failing that, your nearest music shop) and grab on for the ride. I was sceptical at first; the images and bio on the press release are almost too good to be true, so I’m hoping this armour-plated, muscle-bound six-piece can live up to my expectations.
Combining no holds barred hardcore rock ’n’ roll with lyrics made up almost exclusively of Arnie one-liners, there’s not much you can’t love about Arnocorps. So who loves you and who do you love? You got it. As soon as the intro fades into ’Predator’ and vocalist Holzfeuer proclaims, "There’s something out there waiting for us... and it ain’t no man!" before kicking in to a belter of a thrash-tinged rock song, you know what you’re in for, and there’s no way you’re going to be able to stop listening. So stick around.
Tracks like ’True Lies’ with its sing along choruses and catchy melodies just makes the deal all the more tempting, with strong song writing to match the genius band concept.
’Total Recall’ opens with Holzfeuer screaming "MY NAME IS NOT QUAAAID!!" and ends with him screaming "Benny! Screw you! See you at the party Richter!" This is pure gold. ’Commando’ follows, and as you can probably imagine, things can only get better. One spin and you’ll be jumping for the repeat button and shouting "Bennet! Bennet! I’ll be back!" with the rest of them.
You may be thinking it’s all show and no substance, that Arnocorps aren’t man enough to save the day while rocking like bastards at the same time. But if you manage to get down to one of their high-octane live shows to let off some steam, you’ll be eating your words. But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamn spine!
Right, I have to split, so I’ll finish off with this: remember when I said that Arnocorps might not be the legendary rock ’n’ roll mercenaries I was hoping for? I LIED. You’ll know when they’re in town, because all fucking hell is going to break loose. Arnocorps eat all other bands for breakfast, and right now they’re very hungry.
Listen: www.myspace.com/arnocorps
Tracklist:
1. Arno Intro
2. Predator
3. True Lies
4. Total Recall
5. Commando
6. Collateral Damage
7. End Of Days
8. Sixth Day
9. Running Man
10. Raw Deal
11. Eraser
12. Crom (Strong On His Mountain)
13. Wheel of Pain
14. Terminator
15. Last Action Hero
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