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3 out of 10
Death, taxes, Christmas, the NME compilation album. All have their own smell, all are inevitable. Here is your bluffer's guide to Cool, or forty reasons to scream into the night, if you'd rather. The chosen few tracks from the arch taste-makers, ensuring student nights throughout the country sound identical, wherever you are - the musical equivalent of every town having a Starbucks and KFC. Even the presence of Graham C and Karen O can't save it. They're pearls amongst swine.
As always, the NME have concentrated so much on keeping their scabby lips fastened around the insipid erection of Cool, they've forgotten about the music being any good. If there was an 'indie' X-Factor, this would be its soundtrack - the sound of millions of kids doing what they're told. Where are 2009's bands from Brew? Kranky? Gringo? Southern? Now that's what I call music.
1. Muse : 'Uprising'
2. Kasabian : 'Fire'
3. Friendly Fires : 'Kiss Of Life'
4. Temper Trap : 'Sweet Disposition'
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs : 'Zero'
6. Jamie T : 'Sticks & Stones'
7. The Big Pink : 'Dominos'
8. Maximo Park : 'In Another World'
9. The Enemy : 'Be Somebody'
10. Franz Ferdinand : 'Ulysses'
11. White Lies : 'Death'
12. Passion Pit : 'The Reeling'
13. The Maccabees : 'No Kind Words'
14. Gossip : 'Love Long Distance'
15. Jack Penate : 'Tonight's Today'
16. Peter Doherty : 'Last of the English Roses'
17. Esser : 'Headlock'
18. The Virgins : 'Private Affair'
19. The Cribs : 'Cheat On Me'
20. Gallows : 'I Dread The Night'
1. Biffy Clyro : 'That Golden Rule'
2. Paramore : 'Ignorance'
3. Green Day : 'Know Your Enemy'
4. The Prodigy : 'Warrior Dance'
5. Enter Shikari : 'No Sleep Tonight'
6. The Horrors : 'Who Can Say'
7. The View : '5 Rebeccas'
8. Ian Brown : 'Stellify'
9. Bombay Bicycle Club : 'The Hill'
10. Howling Bells : 'Into The Chaos'
11. Little Boots : 'Remedy'
12. Marmaduke Duke : 'Je Suis Un Funky Homme'
13. Marina & The Diamonds : 'Obsessions'
14. Animal Collective : 'My Girls'
15. Danananananananakroyd : 'Back Wax'
16. Golden Slivers : 'Please Venus'
17. Phoenix : '1901'
18. Manic Street Preachers : 'Peeled Apples'
19. Graham Coxon : 'Dead Bees'
20. Glasvegas : 'Flowers & Football Tops'