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2 out of 10
The envelope was in my hands, staring passively back at me as I began to flip it over. Absentmindedly I picked at the fold, gingerly at first and then firmer and more precise as it came away from the sealant...A piece of white A4 slid out from inside and with it a CDR fell to the floor. I unfolded the note slowly, half recognising a logo I'd not seen in what felt like decades but in reality was probably only a matter of a few years. Then it hit me. My mouth went dry and my brain tumbled in different directions as I tried to comprehend what I was reading. It was a shock akin to discovering Michael Jackson wasn't dead after all, but was also able to fly, made entirely of gold and my father. I had nearly processed the words but still questioned their authenticity. "This can't be true", my brain screamed, "BREED 77 ARE STILL GOING?!"
But it is true. Everyone's favourite (read: The only) Anglo-Gibraltarian nu-metal survivors have returned to grace our ears with Wake Up, the precursor to their new album Insects, an ironic title given how they're basically the cockroaches of the UK metal scene. Laugh at them all you want, they'll probably survive a nuclear winter. Surely through longevity alone they must have learnt a whole bunch of songwriting tricks, providing a veritable treat for alternative music fans everywhere? The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooooooo.
After a stop/start intro which briefly threatens to be interesting they revert to type; bland ineffective riffing and growled vocals mixed with a sub-System Of a Down melodic vocal in the verse. Even the solo's dull, whichever guitarist played it clearly closed his eyes and pictured himself with one foot perched atop a monitor in front of thousands of screaming fans but it's nothing Herman Li couldn't do with his feet while eating a sandwich. The only surprise in the song was the lack of any tacky faux-Latin percussion but I guess if Il Nino is still going too then maybe it was their turn with the bongos that week.
1. Wake Up