View The Review
2 out of 10
Fancy a game of Minesweeper? How about Solitaire or perhaps Freecell? Imagine if I told you you’d have to pay £8.95 for the privilege and also an inferior version? Doesn’t sound like deal of the century does it? So why should people ever consider buying Poker Simulator? The answer is, they shouldn’t.
Before I even stuck the game in my first thought was "can’t you already play this FOR FREE on Facebook?" and then it went a little deeper, there are literally dozens of websites dedicated to online server based poker, and the majority deal in the real tangible that makes poker fun, money.
Despite my early cynicism I was more than willing to give poker simulator a chance after all, not everyone is interested in playing for money. Unfortunately what I discovered is that not only does this game lack any real thrill of the gamble, it also lacks everything that makes all other poker clients playable.
The positives, the game runs perfectly fine, no frame rate issues and / or noticeable bugs, and the fact that my PC is quite average shows capable programming tailored to the likely audience. The AI (Artifical Intelligence) however, shows the complete opposite. Not once did I notice the AI bluff, you could always guarantee that if the Computer was playing a hand; he had something worth playing, which in turn saps any sort of thrill one might have in the competition; not to mention, the rival opponents are literally complete pushovers, you can and I did bully your way through a game with ease, clearly the AI thinks you’re as dumb as he is!
One step up a retail game should have over the free games is it’s graphically engine, and if this was still 2002 then these character models and textures would have been acceptable, they hardly do a lot in poker either, but most of the males look like extras from a wrestling game, all ripped to shreds with enormous shoulders, my guy was wearing a hat and when I say wearing, I mean it might as well been floating above his head.
I was having no joy playing the computer so I thought I’d try out it’s online mode and play real opponents, the games been out around a month or so, the servers should be white hot...no one, not a single soul, perhaps I caught a bad time or their servers were in maintenance, it’s an excuse, however unlikely it possibly is.
Clearly I’m not a fan, although the game wasn’t completely without merit, the mini games were marginally fun versions of classic games like high or low and pairs, standard affair but they play perfectly fine. The poker school is also perfectly acceptable for beginners but nothing you couldn’t learn from any other source you can think of.
I hate to completely destroy things that clearly people have put effort and time to producing, but I’m also not a liar...do not buy this "game".