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1 out of 10
Is the general public's appetite for musical magnolia paint bottomless? It must be, as the powers-that-be keep making the stuff. There's no need for us to build Orwell's automatic music-making 'versificator' from Nineteen Eighty-Four when real people are coming up with glossy dross like this - a nightmarish Alanis Morrissette-goes-Eurovision chimaera, singing along to what sounds like an over-priced keyboard's 'demo' mode.
Its producer seeks the next Celine Dion or Cher, in the manner of a vulture seeking the next corpse or an MP seeking the next expense claim. Janis preserve us. One can only hope that he or Zeya herself have an epiphany the size of Lady Gaga's backside and decide to do something more useful with their lives, like taking a blowtorch to the buttocks of popular culture and its never-ending sewer of shiny cack.
1. I Love You X 3